HS 


UC-NRLF 


SB    33S 


1.9  1A- 


CONFIDENTIAL 

'TO  BE  HELD  IN  CONFIDENCE,  and  no 
portion,  synopsis,  or  intimation  to  be  pub- 
lished or  given  out  until  its  DELIVERY  to 
guests  of  The  Gridiron  Club.  While  this 
Paper  is  to  be  delivered  DECEMBER  12,  1914, 
some  contingency  may  arise  to  prevent  its 
delivery  on  that  date,  and  extreme  care  must 
be  exercised  to  avoid  premature  publicity. 


ITIES 


ON 


November  3,  1914 

AND   THE 

Fatalities  Incident  Thereto 
With  Other  Pertinent  Matters 


WASHINGTON: 

PUBLISHED  BY  AUTHORITY  OF  THE  GRIDIRON  CLUB 

1914 


(All  Rights  Reserved  in  the  United  States  and  Other  So-Called 

Civilized  Countries) 


*  ;jJlm;tn 


The  Blue  Paper 


CORRESPONDENCE 

RKI,ATIN( 
CAMPAIGN    PRECHDING    THH 

OUTBREAK  OF  HOSTILITIES 


November  3,  1914 

AND 

Fatalities  Incident  Thereto 
With  Other  Pertinent  Matters 


WASHINGTON: 

USHED  BY  AUTHORITY  OF  THE  GRIDIRON  CLUB 
1914 


(All  Rights  Reserved  in  the  United  States  and  Other  So-Called 

Civilized  Countries) 


'The  Blue  Paper" 


CORRESPONDENCE 

R KEATING   TO   THE 
CAMPAIGN    PRECEDING    THE 

OUTBREAK  OF  HOSTILITIES 


ON 


November  3,  1914 

AND   THE 

Fatalities  Incident  Thereto 
With  Other  Pertinent  Matters 


WASHINGTON  : 

PUBLISHED  BY  AUTHORITY  OF  THE  GRIDIRON  CLUB 

1914  " 


(All  Rights  Reserved  in  the  United  States  and  Other  So-Galled 

Civilized  Countries) 


»     «  » 
.  . 

•    -.  • 

.    .  -  . 


PHFUOf 


THE      GRIDIRON      PRESS 


W.    T.    ROBERTS     CO. 
WASHINGTON 


No.  i 
PENCE  to  HOUSE. 

Oct.     3. — We  need  money.     Can't  you  shake  clown  Wall 
Street?     Use  any  pretext,  but  get  the  coin. 

No.  2 
PENCE  to  BOESCHENSTEIN. 

Oct.     4. — Boost  Roger  Sullivan  all  you  can,  but  don't  let 
Bryan  know  it. 

No.  3 
BRYAN  to  BOESCHENSTEIN. 

Oct.     4. — Knock   Roger   Sullivan  all  you   can,   but   don't 
give  me  away. 

No.  4 

BOESCHENSTEIN  to  PENCE. 
Oct.     5. — Am  boosting  Sullivan. 

No.  5 

BOESCHENSTEIN  to  BRYAN. 
Oct.     5. — Am  knocking  Sullivan. 

No.  6 
PALMER  to  PENCE. 

Oct.  6. — Send  all  the  money  you  can  or  Pennsylvania 
will  go  Republican.  Don't  send  any  more 
speakers. 


789421 


No.  7 

TUMULTY  to  BRYAN,  DANIELS  and  GARRISON. 
Oct.     7. — Keep  out  of  Pennsylvania. 

No.  8  . 

HOUSE  to  PENCE. 

Oct.     8. — If  I  can  get  certain  party  appointed  to * 

there   may   be   something   doing.      Wall    Street 
won't  come  through. 

No.  9 
ROOSEVELT  to  PINCHOT. 

Oct.  9. — Will  help  you  out  after  I  capture  Kansas  for 
Murdock,  Indiana  for  Beveridge,  Illinois  for 
Robins  and  Ohio  for  Garford.  What  is  Penrose 
doing  ? 

No.  10 
PALMER  to  PENCE. 

Oct.  9. — Penrose  and  Pinchot  spending  money  like 
drunken  sailors.  Can  you  tap  Colonel  House? 

No.  ii 

PALMER  to  BURLESON. 

Oct.  9. — Penrose  and  Pinchot  spending  money  like 
drunken  sailors.  Can  you  tap  Colonel  House? 


"Deleted    by    Censor. 


No.  12 
PINCHOT  to  ROOSEVELT. 

Oct.  10. — Penrose  spending  money  like  drunken  sailor. 
Can  you  tap  Perkins? 

No.  13 
ROOSEVELT  to  PINCHOT. 

Oct.   11. — Have  tapped  Perkins.     He  sounds  empty. 

No.  14 

BURLESON  to  PALMER. 
Oct.   11. — Have  tapped  House.     Nothing  doing. 

No.  15 
COLONEL  HARVEY  to  COLONEL  WATTERSON. 

Oct.  12. — Have  seen  Wilson.  Something  doing  if  we  do 
the  right  thing. 

No.   16 
WILSON  to  WATTERSON. 

Oct.  13. — May  I  venture  to  invite  you  to  luncheon  to  dis- 
cuss matters  of  mutual  interest  in  which  I  trust 
we  may  cooperate  to  the  advantage  of  all  con- 
cerned ? 

No.  17 

BRYAN  to  GERARD. 

Oct.  14. — A  cable  from  you  transmitting  large  campaign 
contribution  will  not  necessarily  be  construed  as 
an  infraction  of  rules  of  diplomatic  propriety. 


No.  1 8 

GLYNN  to  McADOO. 

Oct.   14. — I  see  double  crosses  in  all  directions.    How  about 
help? 


No.  19 

TUMULTY  to  SUNDRY  NEW  JERSEY  LEADERS. 
Oct.   15. — How  does  it  look? 

No.  20 
WATTERSON  to  WILSON. 

Oct.  15. — I  shall  be  delighted  to  take  luncheon  with  you, 
having  heard  from  Colonel  Harvey  that  there  is 
really  something  doing. 

No.  21 
SUNDRY  NEW  JERSEY  LEADERS  to  TUMULTY. 

Oct.  16. — Rotten.  You  ought  to  know  what  we  want  in 
this  State,  Joe. 


No.    22 

TEXAS  COTTON  GROWERS  to  HENRY. 

Oct.   16. — Get  us  half  a  million  out  of  the  Treasury  or  we'll 
put  your  Senate  campaign  on  the  blink. 


No.  23 

BRYAN  TO  WILSON. 

Oct.  16. — Middle  West  frantic  with  enthusiasm  for  you  and 
me,  but  poor  Roger  Sullivan  may  lose.  I  pre- 
dict vindication  of  Administration,  no  matter 
how  election  goes. 


No.  24 
CANNON  to  LONGWORTH. 

Oct.  17. — Things  look  better.  Roosevelt  has  just  been 
speaking  against  me. 

No.  25 
WATTERSON  to  HARVEY. 

Oct.  17. — What  the  (deleted  by  censor)  does  Wilson  want 
to  see  us  for?  Mark  reply  personal. 

No.  26 

HENRY  to   TEXAS  COTTON  PLANTERS. 
Oct.   18. — Will  quarter  of  a  million  do?     Would  have  no 
trouble  if  this  were  Republican  Administration, 
but  Wilson  is  sure  of  solid  South  and  he  should 
worry. 

No.  27 

GERARD  to  BRYAN. 

Oct.  18. — Thanks  for  opportunity  to  contribute  to  glorious 
cause.  Have  cabled  funds  to  McAdoo  to  be 
spent  exclusively  in  my  behalf. 


No.  28 
McADOO  to  GLYNN. 

Oct.  18. — Gerard  has  just  sent  funds  for  his  campaign  and 
I  am  sending  you  some.  Count  one  double  cross 
for  yourself. 

No.  29 
TEXAS  COTTON  PLANTERS  to  HENRY. 

Oct.  19. — Quarter  million  will  do  as  a  starter.  Get  it  all 
for  Texas. 

No.  30 

GLYNN  to  McADOO. 
Oct.   19. — You  saved  me.     Am  now  sure  of  big  majority. 

No.  31 

HOUSE  to  PENCE. 
Oct.  20. — Have  raised  some.     Where  shall  I  send  it? 

No.  32 
DANIELS  to  WILSON. 

Oct.  21. — Have  been  speaking  in  Connecticut.  Democrats 
will  win  tremendous  victory. 

No.  33 

PENCE  to  HOUSE. 
Oct.  21. — Rush  money  to  Connecticut. 

7 


No.  34 

CANNON  to  LAFEAN. 
Oct.  21. — Are  you  still  running  at  large? 

No.  35 
PHELAN  to  JOHNSON. 

Oct.  22. — Will  double-cross  Curtin   for  Governor  if  you 
will  double-cross  Heney  for  Senate. 

No.  36 

JOHNSON  to  PHELAN. 
Oct.  23.— You're  on. 

No.  37 
HENEY  to  JOHNSON.     (After  election.) 

Nov.    5.  -  -  xxx!!!!d-d-h-h-h-xxx!!!!d. 

(Deleted  by  Gridiron  censor.) 

No.  38 

GOVERNOR  WALSH  to  ATTORNEY-GENERAL 
GREGORY. 

Oct.  23. — What  do  you  mean  by  prosecuting  New  Haven 
at  this  time?    It  will  mean  loss  of  Massachusetts. 

No.  39 

ATTORNEY-GENERAL  GREGORY  to  GOVERNOR 

WALSH. 

Oct.  24. — Mistake  was  made  by  my  office  boy.     I  meant 
to  prosecute  beet  sugar  growers  of  Louisiana. 


No.  40 
MURPHY  to  TUMULTY. 

Oct.  26. — I  resent  suggestion  that  President  Wilson's  per- 
sonal popularity  is  winning  this  election  for  Glynn 
and  Gerard.  Glynn  and  Gerard  are  Tammany 
men  and  it  is  that  fact  that  is  putting  them  over. 
The  President  is  not  an  issue. 


No.  41 
TUMULTY  to  MURPHY. 

Oct.  26. — President  is  the  issue  in  New  York,  as  every- 
where.    He  should  not  be  denied  this  credit. 


No.  42 

MURPHY  TO  TUMULTY.     (After  election. ) 
Nov.    4. — You  were  right.     The  President  was  the  issue. 

No.  43 
O'GORMAN  to  ROOSEVELT. 

Oct.  27. — How  do  you  keep  a  son-in-law   from  grabbing 
all  the  family  limelight?     Rush  recipe. 

No.  44 

T.  R.  to  O'GORMAN. 

Oct.  27. — Stay  out  of  the  Senate  and  send  your  son-in-law 
to  Congress. 


No.  45 
HOLDEN  to  GEN.  HUGH  L.  SCOTT. 

Oct.  27. — Congratulations  upon  your  promotion  to  be 
Chief-of-Staff  of  the  Army.  By  the  way,  the 
Burlington  route  is  fine  for  army  transportation. 


No.  46 

GENERAL  SCOTT  to  HOLDEN. 

Oct.  27. — Thanks  for  congratulations.  All  that  the  Gen- 
eral Staff  needs  now  is  an  army.  Your  patri- 
otic offer  to  furnish  free  transportation  via  Burl- 
ington route  greatly  appreciated. 

No.  47 
T.  R.  to  BEVE RIDGE. 

Oct.  25. — Albert,  you  are  a  joy.  I  have  asked  Perky  to 
help  you  out.  Giffy  is  sure  to  win.  Jimmie  Gar- 
field  is  a  perfect  dear.  I'll  be  out  soon  to  make 
speeches  for  you,  and  that  will  put  you  over. 
You  know  me,  Al. 


No.  48 

MORGAN  to  PERKINS,  HOUSE  and  WOODS. 

Oct.  25. — If  you  need  a  little  sweetening  for  the  campaign, 

[Progressive 
let  me  know.      I    am    a    stalwart   \  Democrat 

[Republican 

(strike  out  words  not  used)  and  I  am  anxious 
to  help.     How  would  a  check  for  $50,000  feel? 

10 


NCL  49 
PERKINS  to  MORGAN. 

Oct.  25. — Your  telegram  reads  like  a  bugle  call  for  social 
justice.  Rush  check. 

No.  50 
HOUSE  to  MORGAN. 

Oct.  25. — The  constitution  of  peace  calls  for  hearty  co- 
operation between  the  Democratic  party  and  big 
business.  Your  telegram  shows  keen  apprecia- 
tion of  our  efforts  to  do  what  is  right.  Rush 
check. 

No.  51 
WOODS  to  MORGAN. 

Oct.  25. — Greatly  appreciate  your  offer,  old  man,  but 
they're  watching  us. 

No.  52 

BARNES  to  MURPHY. 
Oct.  26. — Have  you  that  room  at  Delmonico's  yet? 

No.  53 

MURPHY  to  BARNES. 

Oct.  26. — Yes.  How  about  tomorrow  at  three?  Knock 
twice  and  say  Arragh-go-Cheese. 

No.  54 

TUMULTY  to  GLYNN. 

Nov.  4. — Please  send  list  of  districts  in  New  York  where 
Malone  spoke  during  campaign. 

11 


No.  55 

GLYNN  to  TUMULTY. 
Nov.    4. — See  list  of  defeated  Democratic  candidates. 

No.  56 
SAMUEL  UNTERMYER  to  W.  C.  VAN  ANTWERP. 

Oct.  26. — Am  running  for  delegate  to  Constitutional  Con- 
vention. Can  you  get  your  friends  in  Wall  Street 
to  help? 

No.  57 
VAN  ANTWERP  to  UNTERMYER 

Oct.  27. — Not  on  your  life.  You  can't  be  snowed  under 
too  deeply  to  suit  me. 

No.  58 

UNTERMYER  to  OWEN. 

Oct.  27. — Van  Antwerp  won't  help.  Report  Stock  Ex- 
change Bill  at  once. 

No.  59 

OWEN  to  UNTERMYER. 
Oct.  28. — Impossible.     Weeks  and  Hitchcock  on  the  job. 

No.  60 

FRANK  P.  WOODS  to  JAMES  R.  MANN.    (After 
election. ) 

We  have  won  an  overwhelming  victory.     Congratulations. 

12 


No.  61 

MANN  to  WOODS. 

Nov.    4. — Announce  my  candidacy  for  Speaker.     What  is 
our  majority  in  the  Senate  and  House? 

No.  62 
WOODS  to  MANN. 

Nov.    4. — The  Democrats  control  the  Senate  by  fourteen 
and  the  House  by  thirty-one. 

No.  63 
MANN  to  WOODS. 

Nov.    5. — Don't  announce  my  candidacy.     Another  over- 
whelming victory  and  we  are  undone. 

No.  64 
FAIRBANKS  to  ROOT.     (After  election.} 

Life  in  this  storm  cellar  has  become  monotonous;  do  you 
think  I  dare  venture  out? 

No.  65 

ROOT  to  FAIRBANKS.     (After  election.) 
The  indications  are  for  fair  weather.     Come  out. 

No.  66 

BEVERIDGE  to  PERKINS.     (After  election.) 

Latest  reports  from  the  front  show  everything  lost  except 
Mary  and  her  vineclad  cottage. 

13 


No.  67 
PERKINS  to  BEV BRIDGE.     (After  election.) 

Hold  the  cottage.  T.  R.  promises  reinforcements  by  1916, 
and  I  am  ready  to  finance  one  more  campaign. 

No.  68 

"CHIMMIE  FADDEN"  TOWNSEND  to  TUMULTY. 
(After  election.) 

Say  kid,  dis  burg's  been  knocked  flat  and  our  jobs  scrambled 
by  dem  Republican  guys.  Hard  times  ahead,  bo. 
Is  de  main  squeeze  goin'  to  fix  us  up  wid  sometin 
easy? 

No.  69 

TUMULTY  to  TOWNSEND.     (After  election.) 

The  President  sympathizes  with  you  and  will  consider  your 
cases  carefully. 

No.  70 

TOWNSEND  to  TUMULTY. 

Aw,  can  de  salve  and  come  across.  We  wants  jobs,  not 
guff.  Get  busy,  see? 

No.  71 
PALMER  TO  WILSON. 

Nov.  4. — Congratulations  upon  tremendous  Democratic 
victory.  Have  you  any  good  job  you  could  give 
me?  I  think  Federal  Trade  Commission  would 
just  suit  me. 

14 


No.  72 
T.  R.  to  PINCHOT.     (After  election.) 

My  word,  Gifford,  quit  sending  me  returns.  I've  had 
enough.  The  Lord  help  others  when  Penrose 
helps  himself. 

No.  73 
SULZER  to  WHITMAN. 

Nov.  4. — I  elected  you,  knocked  out  Murphy  and  made 
T.  R.  look  like  thirty  cents. 

No.  74 

TAFT  to  ROOSEVELT. 

Nov.  4. — I  have  been  licked  only  once,  so  I  don't  know 
exactly  how  you  feel,  but  I  am  reconciled  to  the 
outcome. 

No.  75 
LEWIS  to  PHELAN 

Nov.  5. — I  rejoice  in  the  intellectual  discernment  of  the 
electorate  of  your  glorious  Golden  State  in  send- 
ing you  to  vitalize  and  adorn  our  Senate.  Pul- 
chritude and  personality,  if  I  may  say  so  mod- 
estly, have  today  only  one  representative  there. 
I  congratulate  my  future  colleague. 

No.  76 

PHELAN  to  LEWIS. 

Nov.  5. — My  modest  attainments  are  but  as  the  candle  to 
the  violet  ray  when  compared  with  your  Jove-like 
perfection.  I  shall  bask  in  the  effulgence  of  your 
presence,  my  dear  Gaston. 

15 


No.  77 
SUNDRY  LAME  DUCKS  to  WILSON. 

Nov.  4. — People  of  my  district  vindicated  your  Adminis- 
tration by  electing  a  Republican  in  my  place.  I 
am  now  free  to  accept  the  best  office  in  your 
gift,  which  I  think  is  the  Federal  Trade  Com- 
mission. However,  anything  else  will  do. 

No.  78 

WILSON  to  SUNDRY  LAME  DUCKS. 

Nov.  5. — May  I  give  myself  the  pleasure  of  thanking  you 
for  your  kind  message?  Am  leaving  care  of 
disabled  to  a  later  day. 


16 


GLOSSARY 


ANANIAS — Ancient  politician ;  hence,  any  public  man ;  name 
of  flourishing  club  in  Washington. 

B. 

Boss — Epithet  applied  to  one  political  leader  by  another. 
BAY,  OYSTER — (see  Clam.) 
BULL — (see  Moose.) 

C. 

CANNON — Ancient  weapon  used  by  Illinois  Republicans  in 
killing  bull  moose. 

CLAM — (consult  Oyster  Bay.) 

D. 

DEMOCRAT — Slang  term,  used  in  describing  any  person  in- 
capable of  understanding  the  American  system  of  gov- 
ernment. 

DANIELS — Author  of  the  famous  song,  "Water,  Water 
Everywhere,  and  Not  a  Drop  to  Drink." 

DUCK,  LAME — A  curious  bird  notable  for  its  ability  to  dance 
the  one-step  toward  the  public  crib. 

DRY — Then  take  a  drink! 

DOUBLE  CROSS — Short  method  of  arriving  at  results  in 
politics. 

E. 

ELECTION — Process  whereby  politicians  put  one  over  on  the 
people. 

17 


F. 

FAIR  WEATHER — Prediction  which  invariably  brings  bliz- 
zards on  Inauguration  Day. 

FLAPDOODLE — Complimentary  term  used  in  describing  po- 
litical speeches. 

G. 

G.  O.  P. — Nearly  extinct  monster,  favorite  habitat  Wall 
Street. 

H. 

H — Initial  letter  of  word  commonly  used  to  describe  poli- 
tics or  war. 

HOUSE,  WHITE — Mythical  paradise  of  politicians. 

HOUSE,  COLONEL  E.  M. — Only  living  American  who  has 
night  key  to  above. 

I. 

I — Impersonal  pronoun  invented  by  T.  R. 

.       J. 

JOB — Imaginary  reward  for  real  work. 

JOB-CHASER — Individual  who  did  not  collect  on  delivery. 

K. 

KALE — Obscure  word,  often  used  in  cipher  dispatches, 
synonymous  with  Long  Green,  Bundle,  Yellowboys, 
Stuff,  Bacon,  Cush.  (Consult  Geo.  W.  Perkins,  Tom 
Pence,  and  other  standard  authorities.) 

L. 

LEWIS  J.  HAM. — (Consult  Safety  Razor.) 
LONG  GREEN — (see  Kale.) 

18 


M. 

MANN — Strategist   who  organizes   Republican   defeats   in 

the  House. 
MOOSE — (see  Bull.) 

MOORE,  J.  HAM  P. — Author  of  the  calamity  masterpiece, 
"Oh,  the  mills  are  closing  down,  closing  down,  closing 
down." 

N. 

NEW  JERSEY — Indian  word  meaning  "Durn  them  skeeters ;" 
American  State  celebrated  as  the  stepmother  of  Pres- 
idents. 

NOVEMBER — Month  allotted  to  explanations  as  to  how  it 
happened. 

NEUTRALITY — Arrangement  between  Wilson  and  Bryan  to 

expire  in  1916. 

O. 

OHIO — Wet  nurse  of  Presidents. 

P. 

PROGRESSIVES —  ( see  Obsolete. ) 

PENCE — Take  care  of  Pence,  and  he'll  take  care  of  the 
shillings. 

PENROSE — Notorious  political  boss  sentenced  to  the  U.  S. 
Senate  by  500,000  outraged  Pennsylvanians. 

Q. 

Q.  T. — Political  antithesis  of  D.  T. 

R. 

RESERVE  BOARD — McAdoo's  amen  chorus. 

REPUTATION — Something  you  lose  when  you  run  for  office. 

REGULAR — What  plutocratic  Republicans  call  themselves. 

19 


s. 

SMOOT — Schedule  K  disguised  with  a  moustache. 
SULZER — (see  Monkey-wrench.) 

T. 

T.  R. —  (Wires  down.) 

TRUTH — An  inadvertent  statement  of  fact. 

TRUST — New  Jersey  invention  for  facilitating  indictments. 

U. 

UPLIFT — Last  resort  of  a  politician  who  cannot  break  in. 

V. 

VARDAMAN — (see  Barber.) 

VILLA — Mexican  patriot  and  horse  thief. 

W. 

WATTERSON — The  Finnegan  of  friendship. 
WILSON— That's  all. 

X. 

X — Algebraic  symbol,  signifying  high  cost  of  votes. 

Y. 

YAWP — (see  Congressional  Record.) 

Z. 

ZERO — Democratic  temperature  November  4th. 


20 


DAY  USE 


_3\967*0 


T^TBT 


LOAN  D 


ibrary     . 
University  of  California 

Berkeley 


T  T>  2lA-60m-7,'66 
LCG4427slO)476B 


Photomount 

Pamphlet 

Binder 

Gaylord  Bros.,  Inc. 

Makers 
Stockton,  Cam. 

M.  JAM.  21.  1908 


789421 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 


